stressful week

It is Friday. So, the stressful week has finally over and I managed to get all my things done but didn't do it the best. I was working on last weekend, in the same time, I was having 3 quizzes, 1 presentation, assignments and class to attend last week.

Not just the time that is not enough, also the stress I was having. Basically, I focused more on my presentation, because I was so worried about it as I'm having stage fright problem even I have done so many presentations.

When I focus on my presentation, I tends to worry about other thing as well, because I have to study for quizzes also. Sadly, I didnt do well in my quizzes, I only get 12/15 for my macro quiz, and realized I did so many mistake in acc 2 quiz too. FML. 

As for my presentation, I was so nervous when the moment I was presenting, don't even know what I was saying, mentioned the drug's name wrongly too. Then saw one of my classmate 's face was like 

oh shit. So embarrassed. Surprisingly, lecturer said it was good as I did a lot of research and the content was good. One of my classmate came and told she like my explanation bout those drugs also. But obviously I have not presented well. 

 my speech

Eye bags is what I get in the end.. Didn't have a good sleep at all. 

Promise to work harder next time. 

Be a better person

Currently in Segi's computer lab now, having 2 hours break in between classes. Need to kill time so decided to blog a little. 2 hours is not long but when you're alone. it feels super long.

I was abit angry at one of my group mate just now while having group discussion with her. Im angry becuz the way she talk to me is abit impolite. Me, as a senior I think I have been through more than her and I exactly know what I should do. All Im trying to say is she can actually talk nicely and tell me about her suggestion, instead of acting like mother, you know how a mother talk to you when she think that she is right.

Besides, I posted it out in my 2012 wishes post, saying that I want to be a better person to everyone and I felt kinda guilty for being angry at that moment, I tell myself I shouldn't be like this, I should forgive her. Guess I failed at that moment, but at least I never show my anger to her.

I guess we all have cognitive dissonance problem, when there is a discrepancy between beliefs and behaviors. Or maybe is just me, I always face this problem. The purpose of this post is actually a reminder to myself, so that I could learn and try to be a better person. Leo have bad temper, you know I tried my best not to be mad easily and I did, just not good enough. Ciao.

My life so far

College had started almost a month, I have given lotsa assignment, quizzes and presentation. But, I don't know why I got no, zero motivation to study at all, not just study but everything. I've been skipping class lately, not doing my assignment, not studying for my quizzes. I felt so guilty skipping class and copying my friend's work, even  friend ask what happen to me, this is so not me. All I do in class are sleep and daydream.

Maybe I had too much fun with my besties during the 3 weeks holiday and the one week of CNY holiday just make me felt like Im in heaven. I love Penang, all my cousin are there, totally with no stress at there, all I do is just eat, sleep and have fun. I actually tot of  deferring my study and staying in Penang for a period of time, probably find a temporary job there. But you know, easier said than done.

I guess I just need a break from what Im facing right now. I hate to go to class alone, especially with subject that Im not confident with, I hate to stay at home alone, friends are always not free, I hate assignments, presentation and I hate all those unwanted situations and problems I faced, but no one know, Im tired of being a clown to put on a fake smile in a group of friends, I dont like rejection and ignorance. I hate when my friend put me in an uncomfortable situation and they never realize Im so reluctant to stay and I feel pressure to hangout with a group of working adult and I'm the only student, but it's so hard to reject your friend invitation sometime. I know Im complaining too much but I just need to express it out.