My life so far

College had started almost a month, I have given lotsa assignment, quizzes and presentation. But, I don't know why I got no, zero motivation to study at all, not just study but everything. I've been skipping class lately, not doing my assignment, not studying for my quizzes. I felt so guilty skipping class and copying my friend's work, even  friend ask what happen to me, this is so not me. All I do in class are sleep and daydream.

Maybe I had too much fun with my besties during the 3 weeks holiday and the one week of CNY holiday just make me felt like Im in heaven. I love Penang, all my cousin are there, totally with no stress at there, all I do is just eat, sleep and have fun. I actually tot of  deferring my study and staying in Penang for a period of time, probably find a temporary job there. But you know, easier said than done.

I guess I just need a break from what Im facing right now. I hate to go to class alone, especially with subject that Im not confident with, I hate to stay at home alone, friends are always not free, I hate assignments, presentation and I hate all those unwanted situations and problems I faced, but no one know, Im tired of being a clown to put on a fake smile in a group of friends, I dont like rejection and ignorance. I hate when my friend put me in an uncomfortable situation and they never realize Im so reluctant to stay and I feel pressure to hangout with a group of working adult and I'm the only student, but it's so hard to reject your friend invitation sometime. I know Im complaining too much but I just need to express it out.